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Counselworx.com
Emotionally Focused...Solution Driven Counseling
Bulding Healthy Marriages and Strong Families
Expert Counseling Help for Your Marriage
God intends for your relationship to be pleasing. When it isn't, those negative feelings of being undervalued are supposed to signal to you that something is wrong and needs to be repaired. Furthermore, certain aspects of how two people relate to each other as male and female are not only designed to be pleasing but also addictive. Your love addiction to your spouse is supposed to keep you coming back to each other for more of that "good-thing" and ― for good reason.
Often times as children, simply because of the disciplining nature of the parenting process, we can come to believe that we are incompetent or even worse that we are "bad" and that there is nothing good about us. Frank Peretti first termed this injury, Wounded Spirit Syndrome, which Christian Psychologist, Dr. James Dobson has since popularized. God has created marriage as a second chance in life for a positive self-image. Our self-image does improve when someone important to us sends the opposite message that we are loved and have value.
Another important reason for why God wants you returning to each other's arms has to do with children. When that happens it promotes the possibility for procreation which God is highly in favor of. One of His first instructions to the first man and woman was to "be fruitful and multiply."
Contrary to the ascetic beliefs of early church fathers such as Philo and the historian Josephus, who believed that desire somehow tainted the purity of procreation, we acknowledge that measured desire is extremely important to marriage and that a couple must bond/attach and become addicted to one another in a positive way so that they will raise together the children they produce. Studies make it very clear that cohabitation, single-parenting and step-parenting can be very damaging to the outcomes of children.
When your bond fails to form or gets threatened, God has also designed for you to feel pain. Just how the pain of withdrawal and going "cold turkey" from the cessation of addictive substances propels people to seek to regain it, so God has designed you to return to your lover. You were designed for a love addiction, substance abuse is a false substitute for and distortion of that positive attribute of how humans were made.
Marriage Is Comprised of a Cycle Based on Genesis 2:24
The Cycle of Marital Intimacy
God designed marriage as a system and we understand how it works. The marriage relationship is comprised of various elements that involve feelings, behaviors, love gauges, pressure relief systems and safety valves.
Let us help you understand its various components.
Are you worried that your spouse will say "no" to counseling? We often hear spouses tell us that. Because marriage is a system, chances are that if you are feeling the pain of separation and are experiencing withdrawals ― so is your spouse. We can help you find a way to invite them to counseling that almost always works. Let us help take the mystery out of marriage so that you and your spouse can have the relationship you always wanted.